Asking questions is hard. Learning how to ask good questions is even harder. The art of asking questions is a skill that anyone can learn. It’s all about practice, a focus on healthy communication, and being willing to take a risk.
What You’ll Learn:
The anatomy of a good question
Why asking questions is important
What a good question can accomplish
How to ask a good question
Tips on how to ask questions when you’re nervous
After reading, share your thoughts:
What’s one of your go-to tips for making a question land well?
What’s something from the article you’ll try next time you ask a question?
How do you keep your questions safe and constructive in tricky situations?
Have you seen a question shape or completely change the trajectory of an event or team decision? I’d love to know the story.
The one important thing I say for a question to work well in an interaction is that it should be about genuine curiosity rather than blame. Framing such questions opens up room in the conversation rather than closing someone down defensively, thus garnering more thoughtful and helpful responses.
Instead of another finger-wagging, “Why wasn’t this tested?” I would rather say, “I noticed this scenario wasn’t covered. Please, let us look into how it slipped through so we can improve next time.” That bit of emphasis has moved the whole discussion into the realm of learning and problem-solving, rather than that of blame.
And truly, if I’m nervous, I have come to realize that there is really only one way to fix it: the question has to be asked. Whenever I do ask, I am either enlightened by the answer or I help someone else out who had that same question but was too shy to ask.
It’s such a good article, @jmosley5. Thank you for writing it.
Some reflections on how I ask questions:
I try to keep them light and friendly
I sometimes ask a question when I think I know the answer. Most times it reveals more than my assumptions.
I sometimes use clarifying questions to test my assumptions e.g Am I right in thinking that … ?
I ask personal and potentially sensitive questions in private. Everything else I try to ask in public.
“What do you think?” Is probably my favourite question. A nice invitation if I happened to have shared an idea.
While I prefer open questions, sometimes it just makes sense to ask a question with the goal of receiving a yes or no answer
It’s fun to experiment with different styles of asking questions. Helpful when I feel I’ve still not understood something.
Sometimes it’s ok to not ask a question if there’s not one “ready to go”
There’s no point trying to catch someone out with a question. There’s no place for that type of trickery and tomfoolery, particularly in the MoTaverse. Some tech communities thrive on people trying to catch each other out with “clever” questions and I have no time for that.
I encourage everyone to keep developing their question asking skills . It can make such a difference to your career growth .
For me, before you ask the question, consider what outcome you are hoping for. Is the outcome looking for a win/win? You increase your understanding and everyone moves forward positively - its worth asking.
If I think I’m potentially asking a question that people may think I should know the answer to, I’ll usually start the question with exactly that. “I probably should know this but just to make sure” - it can disarm any negativity. So qualifying you’re concerns about asking the question if you have any, brings the room into focusing on the answer, less about the quality of the question.
Finally, if there is any friction I try to diffuse it by explain proudly with a smile “Apologies if I’m asking dumb questions. My job is to mitigate risk, so I will sometimes ask annoying questions”. I don’t think I’m being dumb, far from it. But I’m using language to drop any tension and like I said disarm the negativity.
Such a helpful article! So many times when I’ve asked a question, other people tell me later, “I’m so glad you asked that, I wanted to ask but I was afraid”. QA stands for Question Asker!
Thank you Lisa! I’ve experienced the same thing! I’ve learned that if I have a question, someone else may have a similar question but is nervous to voice it. Our bravery helps others!