Warning: This article mentions of poor mental health, depression, and suicide.
Read our latest article, " Burnout: A personal experience report", where @AdyStokes shares this deeply personal experience with burnout and recovery, offering valuable insights into recognising the common warning signs and advice on a potential path to improved mental health.
What You’ll Learn: How to identify the common subtle signs of burnout, such as exhaustion, irritability, and feeling overwhelmed. Practical strategies to prevent burnout, including setting boundaries, breaking tasks into manageable steps, and prioritising self-care. The importance of peer support, open communication, and finding professional help when needed. How to rebuild your confidence and creativity after experiencing burnout.
After reading, let the community know:
What early warning signs of burnout have you noticed in yourself or others?
What tools or techniques do you use to stay balanced and prevent burnout?
Thank you for sharing Ady. It is a brave thing to identify and share when these things happen to us. This is why emotional safety at work is also so important.
I hope this will be utilised by alot of people managers and engineering managers to see the signs of when support is needed, instead of assuming things which can make things worse.
I hope this creates a thread of knowledge and support in the community for each other.
Most of all I hope you know we are all here for you in different ways. Big virtual kudos for giving this of yourself to help others.
waow… so clear and open… it’s not so frequent to find such article despite the fact that it can happen to all of us. Talking/writing about it is also part of the therapy… Thank you for this important introspection and for sharing your experience.
@AdyStokes Firstly, be proud of yourself for recognizing and trying to solve burnout. Sharing your experience with others is a big achievement.
Regarding sleep, try taking small steps:
Smile before you go to bed.
Aim to stay away from electronics for 1 hour before bed.
Read a book.
Start journaling: write about what you are grateful for or, if you prefer, simply write “THANK YOU” as you reflect on the day you’ve had.
Practice mindful meditation.
Listen to calming music.
Plan your day the night before and write it down.
Spend some time tidying up so that when you wake up, you have a clean space, including your desk, clothes, and dishes. Even small changes can make a difference.
Track your sleep and reflect on the activities that helped you sleep better. Repeat what worked.
**What early warning signs of burnout have you noticed in yourself or others?
My experience
Difficulty doing basic routine tasks.
Feeling sad or upset most of the time.
Avoiding people or social situations.
Feeling irritated if someone offers help or wants to talk.
Crying without any apparent reason.
Deteriorating health.
**What tools or techniques do you use to stay balanced and prevent burnout?
Identifying and recognizing burnout early is key.
Accepting the situation.
Speaking out and asking for help—whether from a doctor, family, friends, colleagues, or your community.
Volunteering: giving back to the community is one of the best things you can do.
Socializing and connecting with others.
Eating mindfully and maintaining a healthy diet.
Doing things you enjoy, like hobbies.
Going for walks to clear your mind.
Trying to learn new things daily and tracking your progress.
Finally, be grateful for the progress you’ve made and for successfully managing burnout.
Staying positive and believing in myself done all the above and it really works
High levels of fatigue
Not interested in anything particularly life or living
Feeling or being sad all the time
Obsessive eating
Getting angry
Crying frequently
Feeling helpless
What early warning signs of burnout have you noticed in yourself or others?
I experience what I call “feeling my edges”. I will get to the point where I can feel the end of my energy, time, words, and strength and just need to rest. When I start “feeling my edges”, I take a mental health day to rest. Typically, I will sleep all day and not do anything unless I absolutely have to. I realized years ago that I can ignore this feeling, but I’d probably be making up for it by getting sick and then using a sick day. For me, it’s been better to take a mental health day before I push myself over the edge and then have to take time off to recover anyway.
What tools or techniques do you use to stay balanced and prevent burnout?
It may sound dumb (or not?) but being very aware of what I say yes to throughout the week. I have a family, good friends, a job I enjoy, and two dogs. This means there is a lot of opportunities and responsibilities I have to be aware of. When our schedules get very busy, I set aside time each week and look at my calendar. Sundays are blocked for rest. Always. It takes a very unique event for me to be willing to put it on the calendar. Throughout the week, I plan time for writing, family night, date night, and maybe hanging out with friends. I try to keep two nights a week open for free time. If my calendar gets over-stuffed, I start feeling it. Planning in open nights gives me time to breathe and do fun stuff like watching tv or going to bed early
Ady, you’re a superstar! Thanks so much for sharing.
As someone who has faced mental health challenges, I can really relate to your story. I once had a manager who completely shattered my confidence and belief in my abilities. I experienced a lot of executive dysfunction (it’s nice to have a name for it) and didn’t know how to navigate through it.
Four things really helped me. First, talking to friends and trusted ex-colleagues was key. These were people who knew me well, both personally and professionally. Walking was also a huge help, and I did a lot of it (though my poor dog might not agree). A good friend suggested meditation, which, as a man approaching 50, was a bit of a surprise, but it turned out to be really beneficial. I’ve been practicing it for two years now and still enjoy it. Lastly, I discovered the High Performance Podcast. It might seem odd to listen to people talk about performance when dealing with anxiety and depression, but the stories of struggle and resilience from sports stars and CEOs really resonated with me. Hearing how they hit rock bottom and climbed back up was inspiring. The episodes became a part of my walks and still are today.
It’s a long journey, and that knot in your stomach might never be far away, but at least we now know how to manage it.
Thanks for this fantastic article @AdyStokes I find myself thinking of this topic at the moment and your article is very useful. Speaking about it openly can be quite tough I find at times. I personally find I go inwards and don’t reach out for help, which is why I think educating everyone is important, so managers/team members/friends/family can help.
I have been away from MOT for about 6 months now, I quit my job you see.
About 28 years ago I said a stupid thing to my wife “I am not responsible for your happiness.” Which was a nasty thing to say, but looking back, it reflected my own darkness. A darkness only I thought I could and would fix. The honeymoon year was great, then the darkness pulled in. Until recently when I admitted I needed help.
Admit you need help, really, admit you cannot do this alone
Find someone you can talk to and who will hold you accountable
Get professional help
I echo a lot of what Ady talks about, opening up is hard, and when it comes to group therapy, not everyone will be ready for that. Some people never will, that is fine, but you have to be open with your coach or therapist. The more open you are, the more you will progress quickly.
If in the UK, there are a few programmes for mental health, your GP can refer you for CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) therapy, it is free. But I suggest setting aside some savings and getting professional help.
Pace yourself, set a long goal on this. and don’t give up your job like I did, I waited too long.
Testify, once the therapy starts working, speak out, like @AdyStokes has done, you will be amazed at how many people are in the same boat.
Step back often. Step back and access your state and progress. Don’t worry about the past, that is gone, therapy will help you look forward. Stepping back will help you find balance.
As they say you cannot change the past, only the future. I found that pacing myself, celebrating and normalising have made a huge difference. We all have suicidal thoughts, spotting danger is the thing that keeps us alive. We perform almost a dozen risk assessments every single day, and the one you do just before you cross the road where huge trucks are speeding by, is just an assessment, do not dwell on it! It’s normal to have it, but it keeps you alive, move on quickly.
I will post in more detail soon around my recent discovery how my depression, which I just termed “grumpiness” for so long, was rooted less in imposter-syndrome and more in anxiety. All rooted in ADHD and Autism, which I knew very little about. It took just one toxic boss to tip me over the edge and I am glad now that I quit, to take time off. 1 month is not enough, stronger mental health is a lifestyle, there is no silver bullet.
How to identify the common subtle signs of burnout, such as exhaustion, irritability, and feeling overwhelmed.
Practical strategies to prevent burnout, including setting boundaries, breaking tasks into manageable steps, and prioritising self-care.
The importance of peer support, open communication, and finding professional help when needed.
How to rebuild your confidence and creativity after experiencing burnout.