I loved reading this article (which is available via the Observatory).
While it’s aimed at designers, I think the MoTaverse can relate to it. I know I did!
There are only three ways then to think about the changes we want to see:
A) Seek power
B) Become influential
C) Be self-aware
These choices are not mutually exclusive. The sensible thing is to think about which ones apply best in different situations and for different phases of your life.
For the leaders out there, how might you apply this method to your approach to leadership? How do you create change by avoiding the complaining trap?
The three options mentioned above made a lot of sense. I’ve started to notice that when I stop complaining and start asking, “Okay, how can I help shift this?”, even small actions make a big difference. People begin to listen differently.
In the QA world, it’s easy to feel unheard or brought in too late. And yeah, complaining feels like a release but it rarely moves anything forward. What actually works is building relationships, showing value, and picking your moments to speak up with care.
As someone who’s not in a formal “leader” role, I still think a lot about how to create change. For me, it starts with being aware of how I show up. If I keep the focus on what can be better and not just what’s wrong then people tend to respond more openly.
It’s a reminder we needed: Don’t just point out problems. Start shaping solutions.
Hmmm…I agree with principle that we should look for solutions rather than just complain…in the perfect world. But, if you care for people, people need to vent when their day to day pressures and frustrations are clouding their judgement. So this is what I do:
Always create that safe space where anyone can come to you and tell you anything without fear for repercussions or outright rejection. Where possible ensure that safe space can work in groups too, but that may not be possible.
If it isn’t possible, I offer to chat to them separately as I want to understand their complaint or frustration. They have to feel its a safe space, so a lot of ground work needs to be done to be trusted.
However, some people hold back in the meetings and let their complaint fester. I watch peoples body language in meetings, mainly looking after my own team but anyone where I see people are holding something back. You can ask if they’re ok in the meeting to encourage open dialog to speak up but they may not be comfortable with that. So I drop them a slack and ask them if they’re OK and if they want to talk about it.
If they do have a chat, reiterate the safe space and let them vent. Listen intently. Trade with their emotional bank account, give them your honest opinion on something that frustrates you to let their guard down and support their need to speak up. This the most valuable part as sometimes, thats all they need…to feel heard and/or let off steam.
Once you’ve understood their frustrations, its time to turn the conversation around. “OK what do you think needs to happen?” Get them to start solutionising, help them look at options and help them validate them.
If worst case there isn’t anything you can do, give them tips to handle the situation better in future. If you can help, give them the support they need to put forward ideas and prep them for rejection
If I’m consistent with this behaviour, I earn trust and rather than complaining, people are more wanting help to communicate different solutions. Not every complaint makes sense or is rooted in work matters. We could largely be in a better place but something or someone sends us over the edge and we’re back to complaining.
Giving that safe space is vital for people to feel heard and maybe open up. So don’t stop complaining, leaders need to hear you and you need to be heard.