Because we all need a bit of a chuckle, we decided to ask you on Twitter and LinkedIn. There were some cracking answers
If the website loads, release it.
automate everything and ignore manual testing
World class gatekeeping etiquette and standards
Following ISO 29119, strictly and only.
Test everything
Writing as many bug reports per day as you can.
“A user would never do THAT”
Pigeons.
Doing everything to break the object under test, no matter how extreme it is or how much time and effort it takes.
Just move quickly and get the job done.
A whole lot of test cases to follow by the letter.
Lots of bugs
Also, no bugs
There should not be automated, better test manually
Developer said it works on their machine. Good enough for me!
Use real user data from production as test data
Having a single QA over a good (let’s say 8) number of developers! Because apparently, anybody can test and assure quality
The Donald says fewer tests means fewer bugs. That good testing, right? Bigly.
Making testers oppositional and adversarial gatekeepers of quality or releases.
Good testing is when customer(stakeholders) reports an issue and replying it with “Issue is already being reported” with the link of ticket id.
Sitting back and watching as the train heads towards that tight corner at full speed. Waiting to reveal, “I told you that would happen”!
Refuse to test anything until every requirement is specified down to the tiniest detail
If you find a critical bug 2 hours before the sprint is due to go to prod, make sure you log a bug as critical (maybe with the word CRITICAL in the title, just to be sure). That way some developer (or somebody) will see it and do something about it.
Happy Path is working.
Make sure there are no bugs by tomorrow!
Now you - What makes good testing? Wrong answers only