As someone who never makes new year resolutions. This week, I was having a 2020 hindsight moment (It’s the last chance to do this BTW), thinking of all my friends who did make resolutions and broke them. Well that year floored them and screwed up their plans! So surely it will be easier to stick to anything I commit to improving in 2020? Resolutions for 2021 should be a walk in the park. Dry January will be as easy as pie!
As usual I’m going to advise against deciding that 2021 is a good time to join the new year solutions crowd. I mean what could go wrong? Why?
Well, on Sunday I was listening to a bloke who moved all the way to Ireland to start at a guitar making factory, and Simon said two things.
- “Every time one of my friends succeeds I die a little.” goes the saying, which speaks to the part of each of us who see others around as as so much more skilled than ourselves. It’s easy to hate them for their luck, and Simon tells the story of a music producer friend who offered to do a number for their garage band. The band declined, and their mate went on to produce for the Soundtrack on a Disney blockbuster, ouch. Simon did not stop there. (I was reminded of @melissafisher writing an e-book , you can jump in there now Collaborative e-book . ) So Simon was asked by his brother to write a chapter in a book that ended up doing really well. Simon’s excuse was, I’m not an expert on the topic.
Little deaths inside when someone else succeeds. Which is an exaggeration really of Competition between people socially. It’s never actually expressed or even meant. It’s just human nature, to be observed.
- Well Simon was not finished, he added another quote “Comparison is the thief of joy” - not sure who wrote it. But for me that explained a lot of angst. Because by comparing we fail to see not only ourselves positively, but fail to celebrate our victories and recognize our good.
And as such, when you have a victory, you really do want others to celebrate it with you. And so deep down, it’s harder to admit, but we do want to celebrate and share in the wins others make. Wins often made through doing all of the hard work. In this pandemic time it has been hard to do the “hard work”, and I’m wasting some of it writing this idea up, just because I am a very slow writer. So I’ll finish now before my boss fires me.
For me 2021 I resolve to overcome the blockage of comparing myself to others, and to just be there on the ground, doing what I do well, diligently, persistently and conscientiously. And to be HAPPY.
Share your un-resolutions only please.